Thursday, May 22, 2014

Action Movie in the Year 3000


It's the year 3000 in the thriving city of Google, its streets buzzing with joyous Google Plus members, as well as armed Twitter mechs blowing the skulls open of anybody who refuses to share a thought as Facebook surveillance drones beep and soar overhead, rapidly downloading and uploading ultra high-definition x-ray images of everybody's genitals. In a grungy apartment, grizzled and profoundly alcoholic ex-Twitter user Twat "Tweetin'" Twitterson, long reputed throughout the world as a master of tweeting, swears away the activity forever after the tragic loss of his now-ex-wife's profile on Twitter in a freak tweeting accident at Twitter's base of operations. Twat is reluctantly dragged into the second act by the rise of an extremely dangerous internet terrorist, wanted by the internet police for broadcasting a threat to begin keeping all of his thoughts to himself -- unless he's granted time off work for a weekend vacation at his cabin, during which he's allowed to turn his iPhone off for a bit. Twat might have a major chip on his shoulder and be suffering from the worst hangover throughout history, but that doesn't stop him from loudly clicking back the hammer of his Magnum revolver for no reason and tweeting like he's never tweeted before in a relentless effort to stop the terrorist. Risking the potential suicide of billions of the terrorist's followers on Twitter as a result of his terrible demands, Twat can't afford to pull any of his punches on this job -- he'll have to make an uneasy alliance with LinkedIn, and go so far as to reactivate his old account on MySpace and face the demons of his past.

"A must-see film. You'll find yourself so connected with Twat that you'll leave the theater feeling like a Twat yourself."
- Cameron Shuttersnap, Amazing Director