Monday, June 11, 2012

News: Jon Graham Rises From the Dead/Bytes ("In the Pudding", "Number One Fan")

Alright, no more putting this off, gotta get this done.

Here are the links for the two latest Bytes:

Arby 'n' the Chief - Bytes S01E07: "In the Pudding"
Arby 'n' the Chief - Bytes S01E08: "Number One Fan"

Regarding the "In the Pudding" Byte, you can all relax.  For the last shot, I certainly didn't swing my fist down on a hand soap dispenser sitting off-camera, raised to the appropriate height atop a small stack of DVD cases, and I definitely didn't replace the banging sound with audio of soaking wet tissue paper lightly splatting on the surface of my desk.  I assure you that I was naked just out of frame and busted an authentic nut.

Truth be told, I hate updating this thing.  Nothing personal, of course -- I always enjoy reading what people have to say about my stuff.  I've just been so busy writing the story episodes and the Bytes that most of the time I can't be arsed to sit down and churn out a blog update, that's all.

Also, I have to admit that the rumor of my death, which I found quite amusing, factored into the absence of a recent update a tiny bit.  I had a childish desire to keep quiet for a little while just to see how much more ridiculous the rumor would get.

I laughed my ass off reading some of my video comments:


"No. Jon died :'("

"Guys, Jon didn't upload a new arby n the chief to machinima and he hasn't updated his blog in a while. Jon died :'( Thumbs this up so ppl can see.
RIP Jon."

":'( saw ur comment man... how did jon die exactly... X:("

"everyone! Jon has died in a car crash while heading home from e3 because of this there will be no more arby n the chief RIP Jon Grahm"

"WHAT JON IS DEAD... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :'O how did he die... I need to know man how...HOW... if it is true... then rip jon... YYYYYYYYYYYYYY X:::::::::::::O"

"R.I.P JON GRAHAM :´( A TRUE FRIEND TO ALL OF US!"


It's comforting to know that, when I actually do die, I'll have you guys to whip up some memorable eulogies for me.  Great job.  Is this what eulogies are eventually going to devolve into?  Strings of repeating letters and symbols and sobbing sad faces?  Thanks, using a string of semi-colons to indicate a flood of tears really captures the feeling of despair.  I'm touched. 

Where do people get this shit?  I wasn't even at E3.  I'm fucking awful in front of the camera and talking to people anyway, watch my E3 stuff from before to see how terrible I am.  They're like live action renditions of Socially Awkward Penguin.  I don't think anybody wants me back there, and I'm personally not really interested in going back either.  Too crowded.  Not as much of a gong show as PAX, but still too populated for me to be very interested.  I'm happy watching game coverage from the comfort of my PC.

Apparently a lawyer sharing my name had died somewhere, and the fact that the guy's name was spelled John (with an "H", unlike mine) wasn't enough to prevent people from confusing the poor fellow with me.

I'm not dead.  I'm twenty-four -- I've still got a good few years left.

Anyway, last thing: I know in my last update I told you I'd try to get the next story episode out a week earlier than usual.  I failed you.

However, when it does come out (this upcoming Saturday), it will be an extended episode.  The script ended up being thirty pages, which roughly translates to twenty-three minutes of video, give or take.  It also consists almost exclusively of live action sequences with the toys in the apartment, save for the last scene.

Please leave comments on the Bytes, hope you enjoy them, and stay tuned!

Thanks,
Jon

P.S.  I really did die in a car crash returning from E3.  My restless spirit is typing this.  I'm like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense, I'm just refusing to accept my death and move on to the spirit world.  The only way to appease my spirit and set it free is to leave comments.  'Kay?  'Kay.