Friday, March 30, 2012

News: Impostors

O hai.

I've been receiving an escalating, and frankly alarming amount of news via e-mail and from people I know in person of people impersonating me online -- through e-mail and instant messaging conversations, Twitter, Facebook and the like.  Most of these impersonators do it merely to draw attention to themselves.  Some do it to exploit people, which really isn't cool.

A few weeks ago I was sent an e-mail by somebody accusing me of the theft of dialogue and plot elements from a story he had supposedly written in private collaboration with both a friend of his and "me" (it wasn't me).  I told the sender that was impossible.  He said he had proof.  I said I'd sure as hell love to see it.  He sent me a number of desktop screenshots which proved a little less than jack shit, but one of the images displayed his e-mail inbox which was filled, quite eerily, from top to bottom from somebody named "Jon Graham".  A couple more of the images revealed the sender's conversations with Bizarro Jon, who was indeed pretending to be me, giving his opinions on "his" own work and offering advice on writing.

I was then sent the story itself that I had supposedly stolen from.  I quickly went through it, and the dialogue in two relatively small sections of it were ripped directly from season six's second last episode, Severance (Kylie's conversation with her bodyguards on Spire, and her and Arbiter facing off on Zealot).

As I clearly remember both where I was when I wrote those scenes and the strain I was under trying to get them written down (which made this news particularly irritating), what must have happened was somebody watched Severance, pasted them into a document and took the time and energy to weave a completely alternate narrative around that pasted material with the intention of either blackmailing me or just pulling my pisser.

The sender of the e-mail also told me that he had been talking with Bizarro Jon frequently for months.  Some of these impersonators are disturbingly dedicated.  I felt bad, but I think a lot of blame lies with the sender for thinking Bizarro Jon's wacky, numbery (and, on my Blog,  unlisted) Yahoo e-mail address was legitimate.

To those people, get a life, seriously -- and I don't even mean that in a colloquial and derogatory way, I mean literally, get your own life.  I'd like to draw your attention to the lack of any sort of reward for drawing attention to yourself when it's completely unearned (besides a little social interaction, in which case go the fuck outside), not to mention the ill reasoning of trying to take the life of somebody who doesn't even have one.

There's currently a Facebook fan page with five thousand or so members which I'm completely unaffiliated with.  It has been under the administration of several users throughout its operation, I believe, and a couple of them have used it to extort people; posing as me claiming that my Xbox is busted and that "I" need donations for a new one to keep the show going.

If any impersonators attempt to extort you like that in any way, that should be your first clue that they're not who they say they are.  I'm never gonna be asking anybody for money or shit like that.

A few people I know in person have been following "me" on Twitter for months.  How surprised they were when I told them I don't even have a Twitter account.

Yes, that's right.  I don't have a Twitter account.  I know some of you may have been following somebody who is supposedly me for some time now, which is going to make it difficult for you to swallow the fact, but it's true.  I don't have one; I never have.  If you're following a Jon CJG on Twitter, it's not me, no matter how much the impostor tells you otherwise (and some unsheath their claws and really fight back if their guise is threatened, desperate to maintain the flow of attention they're getting, and will say anything to convince you).  Tell them to get fucked.

If you're receiving any sort of communication from somebody posing as me and the sending address or account or profile or whatever isn't listed on my Blog, don't believe a fucking word of it.

That's all for now.  Hope you enjoy tomorrow's short.


P.S.  Haha, just came across a much, much older blog post of mine after writing this one saying how much Twitter sucks, for no reason.  I was such a cockmuncher.  Although I still don't have a Twitter account, but that's only out of laziness.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Video: Arby 'n' the Chief: Season 7 Trailer

I really ought to stop putting this shit off.

So, yeah, season seven.  I recently put out a trailer for it, which can be viewed here:

Arby 'n' the Chief: Season 7 Trailer

And while I'm posting links, I forgot to post the link to the last short I made which came out near the end of the sixth season's run.  Here's the link for that:

Arby 'n' the Chief Short #5

I like how that one turned out.

So what can you expect from the seventh season?  Not much improvement in the technical side of things, still working with the same barely-functioning ghetto hardware setup; no high-def content in glorious screen-muddying and migrane-inducing 3D or anything.  What you can expect, however, is improved, tighter writing; funnier gags, more intensity, better character development, and my placing just as much importance on cinematography as I ever have, which I personally think I've always done a decent job on.

I'd like to ask people not to judge this upcoming season solely on the trailer, because I think I suck dick at making trailers.  Please reserve your judgment for when the first episode comes out.  The trailer consists entirely of footage from the first episode, but there's a ton of gags and supporting dialogue that was removed.

I haven't really taken a break since cutting and submitting the season six finale, other than I haven't had to submit any content for the past four weeks.  Pretty much as soon as I put out The Reunion I hit the ground running on the outline for season seven.  I was collecting ideas for it even in the middle of producing season six.  I feel like I've got a decent story at the heart of this new one; that I'm not forcing a story to simply keep the show alive.

While I'm aiming to make this season funnier than the last, it also ventures into much darker territory than before.  This will be a very character-driven season, and largely follow the toys' interaction, physical degradation and corruption.  I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say one thing; don't expect the sugary sort of ending that season six had.

For those who aren't aware of it, here is the season's synopsis:

A few weeks have passed since Greg the spider and the long-lost Cortana found their way back to Master Chief and the Arbiter. Chief and Cortana are constantly at each other's throats and hurling insults and dishes at one another, and -- like Chief -- the Arbiter finally begins to deteriorate and is confronted by his mortality. Meanwhile, a merciless clan of trolls led by Halo addict Eugene Black, and co-moderated by fellow high-schooler Tyler King and homebrew software engineer Colin Hunt, become notorious throughout the network for their offensiveness and cruelty in the relentless pursuit of "the lulz". One fateful night, the Arbiter crosses paths with Eugene online, and a relationship forms that will cause the toys to question their values and embrace their darker selves -- which may eventually lead to their destruction.

And now, for a bit of bad news: story episodes are currently scheduled to air every three weeks, starting on April 7th (yes, not the 4th of July, sorry for the mix-up).  The scripts for the episodes will also be more condensed, resulting in shorter episodes running from ten to fifteen minutes.  I can't do twenty minute episodes every two weeks anymore, sorry.  I've got too much shit to do, and never enough time for myself.

However, I will be using the additional time to focus on the writing of those episodes to make them as entertaining as I can.

I know the trailer makes this new season look like more of the same from season six, but it's going to be building to, in my opinion at least, some pretty wild shit.

In addition, it might also put some at ease to know that I have almost every episode roughly outlined already, and I already know what the final scene and final camera shot of the season's last episode will be.  I'm really trying my best to make this season worth sticking with until the last second.

No promises, but I will consider adjusting the season's production schedule and releasing the story episodes more frequently later on, providing that I find the time to spare.

So, yes, the story episodes are currently scheduled for release every three weeks, and in between those episodes I plan to release more Arby 'n' the Chief shorts in the form of a new season subtitled "Bytes".  These shorts will be two or three minutes long and revolve around the same characters, but within a parallel universe.

I'm also playing with the idea of doing another "viewer mail" string of shorts, but instead of the toys reading out mail, they'd play recorded voice messages from fans and answer their questions.  Let me know via comments or e-mail if you're in support of the idea.  I know Hypermail was very hit-and-miss among the fanbase, so I'm really not sure.

I also can't help but feel disappointed in the view count for the trailer so far, but I guess that's my own fault for being too much of a lazy shit to update this blog.  Oh well.  I hope it picks up and people stick with the show and enjoy it, 'cause I'm feeling pretty good about this season.

And if you're one of those people with an overwhelming desire to see me "let this show die already", as if I'm Ed Harris in The Abyss and the show is the drowned Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, I'd like to remind you that the internet's a big place with plenty of detours towards content you might find more suitable to your needs.

Thanks guys, and stay tuned.

- Jon

P.S.  Then a skeleton pooped out.

Friday, March 23, 2012



- Jon