I typed and saved a very small portion of my nightly absurd internal mental ramblings. Maybe you'll find some amusement or gain some weird insight in this.
Maybe I'm delusional. Then surely everybody else must be delusional to some degree. Jesus. The world is being run by people as fucked as I am. They're also surrounding me. Oh shit. I probably won't be alive in a few years. Either we go through 2012's frequency/vibrational shift, or the planet explodes, or implodes, or gets eaten by giant raptors, or someone here's gonna shoot a nuclear bomb. And if I don't die, I'll probably be poisoned or irradiated, or possibly in a distant area from the blast but then more bombs will go off and I'll be trampled under the stampede of panicking people. Left to die. Imagine what it would be like starving to death. Holy crap, that would suck for real. That happens to people every day. People no worse than I am. I got lucky. I landed on my feet and hit the ground running out of sure chaos. Maybe the entire universe is inside the glass eye of a winged super-raptor with cool spikes and a double-bladed scythe, barking orders at a bunch of pissed-off werewolves with brilliant diamond body armor and cloaking devices in a world-wide battle over some fucking hovering trans-dimentional hyper cube that's comically over-mechanized. ...People are gonna think I'm "trying to be too cool" or something by typing something too imaginative like that. Who cares what they think. That's always the message in movies -- who gives a fuck about what anyone else thinks? No matter how good you try to bee, some guy somewhere is gonna hate you. Even if it's just that your face reminds him of some other guy at the dildo store that short-changed him earlier. You probably caught that "bee" typo by now. You read over it, looked back, examined the context, and then BURST into laughter, muttering to yourself how dumb I was for doing that. Did I type "bee," to a certain extent, purposefully, because my mind associated it with the correct word "be," or because my mind purposefully meant to type it correctly but I just had my finger on the E key a tad too long while I was scratching an itch on my balls? What the hell am I talking about? I'm thirsty. I can't believe it's almost twenty bucks cheaper to buy another entire Brita filtration jug with a filter in it than a replacement filter on it's own. That is so fucking stupid. It's like buying another Lexmark when your ink cartridge runs out. The world is filled with stupid fucking shit like this. How can we take any of this seriously? And I'm the worst out of all of us. I'm aware of this, and I don't do a God damn thing about it because I'm scared. Scared of everything. No matter how cool a face I try to put on at crosswalks.