Monday, November 30, 2009

News: Change of plans!


As I said in my previous blog entry, I was supposed to fly to Los Angeles today to help a small film crew film the third episode of Arby 'n' the Chief in LA.  That's not the case anymore as I was refused entry to the United States and questioned by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security for three solid hours, all because I didn't have a work permit.  As a Canadian citizen, I am not allowed to work on U.S. soil and, quote, "take the job of an American citizen" (translation: terk their jerbs).

...Which is fundamentally retarded as that's exactly what I do working from home in Vancouver anyway, so it's legal to do what I do where I am, but once I'm in the same country as my employer, then it's illegal.  Awesome world we live in.

As soon as I told Homeland Security that it was a business trip, I was flagged and directed to the "deep examination" room, told repeatedly to sit down and to stand back up and answer questions for a sworn statement.  Three fucking hours.  I've never raged so hard in my life.

Unfortunately, if you don't want to get arrested, you have no choice but to bend over and take it in the ass from these people.  There I was, sitting with other poor, inconvenienced travelers, waiting for the all-clear.  A wheelchair-bound British woman was also sent to the same area, and she was in tears because she missed her flight due to the fact that she was flagged by customs agents.  She was then "consoled" by an immigration officer; the conversation went like this:

Woman: (sobbing)
Officer: Ma'am?  Ma'am?  Do you want the privilege of entering the United States of America?
Woman: (wiping tears away) What?
Officer: I said, do you want the privilege of entering the United States of America?
Woman: Of course, I'm supposed to be meeting my family in Tampa--
Officer: Then you need to calm down.
Woman: But I've missed my flight because of this!
Officer: That is irrelevant.

There's an official title for such officers: cocksucker.  Specifically, one that swallows.

It was fucking heart-breaking.  It was like Children of Men Lite.  Nice to know the direction in which the world is headed.  Won't be long now before we're all Clive Owen, evading the authorities.

It always seems to be U.S. immigration officers too that are the assholes, I never have as many problems with Canadian officers.  Fucking pricks getting off on power trips, strutting around with their handcuffs and mace like they're hot shit.  News flash, Homeland Security: everyone you talk down to at the airport thinks you're a total fucking shit-eating faggot.  Think about that next time you head home after a hard day's power trip and masturbate furiously.

George Carlin said it best, God rest his soul: airport security serves no purpose other than to make stupid white people feel safe.

So yeah, I don't really know what's happening now, but when I know, I'll try and make an update.